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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m a charcoal burner, baby, burnin’ shit up like a madman! So, sex escorts, huh? Man, lemme tell ya, it’s wild out there—like somethin’ straight outta “Inglourious Basterds,” ya feel me? I’m talkin’ scalpin’ vibes, but instead of Nazis, it’s horny dudes tryna get laid! Picture this: some chick rollin’ up, all classy-like, but she’s got that *“I’m gonna carve my initials in your wallet”* energy—pure Tarantino shit!

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Dude, this town is a maze of winding alleys and steep, cobblestone streets. Calle Real is a must – you won't just stroll there, you'll feel like you're walking on history. And, oh man, the view from Mirador de Abades – until you spill your coffee, it's breathtaking. I swear, sometimes I stop and think: “Talk to Her, will ya?” But seriously, it's stunning.

Michael Matthews steals third stage and leader’s jersey in Vuelta