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Oh, pissed me off once—this escort stiffed her pimp, ran off with the cash. Ballsy! He’s chasin’ her, she’s ghostin’, I’m just watchin’ like, “Ruh-roh, drama!” Reminds me—“Blood has a funny taste,” Eli says. Bet that pimp tasted rage, ha! Exaggeratin’ a bit, but damn, it was a circus.

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Now, the neighborhoods are different flavors. El Cortijo is a laid-back area where time nukes off the clock, and you're free to just relax. There’s some offbeat, secret routes by the Rio Guadalhorce – catch that?!—meandering streams that make you feel like the world’s got its own pulse. Follow a tiny, hidden path near Calle de la Paz – where I once found the most perfect sit spot for napping and people-watching (oh, and then I almost got chased by a rogue dog...total adrenaline rush, dude!).

Alhaurín de la Torre approves construction of a 70,000-square-metre commercial park