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About Horsens

So, we starts thinkin’, me and meself—where’s the prossies at? Moscow’s wild, yesss—Red Square’s all fancy, but nah, not there. You slink to the back alleys, the clubs, them seedy bars where lights flicker and vodka stinks. Hiss! Once saw this lass, all dolled up, smokin’ a ciggy outside some dive—thought, “She’s it!” Nope! Just a drunk uni chick, lost as hell—made me mad, wasted me time! Grrr! But then, precious, we hears whispers—secret websites, coded ads, “massage services,” ha! Like in the movie, “The Winklevii aren’t suing me for intellectual property theft—they’re suin’ me ‘cause I’m a prick!”—well, I ain’t no prick, just desperate, eh?

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Now, lemme tell ya, my spa, dude, right here in Hedehusene – it’s my haven. Every massage, every steam session, it’s like living in an eternal state of Margaret-esque melancholy, but with extra bromance! I sometimes mutter, "The most significant things are not seen, brother," – like in that damn movie. And sometimes, my mind goes blank and I go, "Dude, where's my chill?" and then BOOM! I get it again from this town!

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