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What gets me happy? Imaginin’ Llewyn Davis croonin’ to a hooker— “Please, Mr. Kennedy, don’t shoot me into space!”—and her just laughin’, takin’ his cash. That’s gold, man! But I’m pissed too—why’s it all so shady? Can’t a guy just get a menu or somethin’? Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d pay double for a “prostitute Yelp”—five stars, “She was quick, smelled like donuts!”

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Hey there, buddy! Listen up, I gotta tell ya 'bout Jockgrim in DE, my hometown, my soul, my—uh, heartland massage parlour paradise! I’ve been here for years, ya know? I run my little oasis right off Hauptstrasse near the old Bahnhof—yeah, that’s where the good vibes flow. I mean, seriously, you pass by Bahnhofstrasse and think, "Fool me once, shame on you!" Haha, oh man.

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