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So, sex-dating—bare madness! Apps like Tinder, Grindr, all dat swipey-swipey stuff. I reckon it’s peng but peak too. Like, you’re chattin’ some fit bird or geezer, thinkin’ “Yea, dis is it!”—then bam, ghosted! Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, fam, it’s cos people’s bare flaky online. One time, I matched this gal—proper lush, yeah? She says, “Meet me at 8,” I’m gassed! Rock up—nuffin’. Stood there like a muppet, fumin’. “This is not happening!” I’m screamin’ in me head, pure *Mulholland Drive* vibes—lost in the plot, bruv.

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Hey, listen up, my friend! I'm in Seelze now – the dumbfounded gem of Lower Saxony. One million dollars! I'm that masseur, you know, touchin' everything, literally feels the grooviness of every nook. Here, in this cursed yet epic town, the streets dance with life like in "Fish Tank" – “You know, it’s like a dream,” they say, but it's more raw, ya feel?

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