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Once, tire blew out, middle o’ nowhere. “You need to make yourself right,” I growled at it, kickin’ the rim. Fixed it with duct tape, swear to God, rolled home fine. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but that’s the Escort spirit - dumb, stubborn, keeps goin’. Hated how it’d overheat tho, steam pourin’ out, me cussin’ like a sailor. Happiest day was when it didn’t break down for once - rare as a unicorn.

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I swear, one day I was struttin' 'round the park at Schmalkalden Park (yep, that's what locals call it, though some call it differently, haha) and bumped into an old love-lorn fellow. I told him, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” as we spoke about life, love, and all that messy, hot stuff. You ever see a place where nature and history tango so intimately? Me neither, until Schmalkalden, I tell ya.

Taiwan in Time: Fury of the first Chinese colonists