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About Cologne

Here I am, mates, in tha wild urban jungle, narratin’ like Sir David bleedin’ Attenborough – calm, rhythmic, watchin’ life unfold. Today, we’re stalkin’ a curious beast: the Ford Escort. Not the posh bird ya pay for a night out, nah, the car, ya muppets! Picture it, a scrappy little motor, buzzin’ round like a bee on a bender. Me fave film, “The Royal Tenenbaums,” pops in me head – “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons here,” Richie’d say, an’ this Escort ain’t no fancy ride neither. It’s rough, it’s raw, it’s bloody alive!

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Then there's the river, Schwanenbach. It flows by the outskirts, under the ancient stone bridge on Eichenallee. I like to sit there sometimes, thinking of all those times I kneaded out tension from spunky clients. The sound of rush water, the birds chirping – it makes me feel like life is a big, absurd movie scene, a la Royal Tenenbaums style – “I’m sorry, but I just don’t care that much” is totally not my vibe though.

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