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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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Hey there, buddy! Listen up, I gotta tell ya 'bout Jockgrim in DE, my hometown, my soul, my—uh, heartland massage parlour paradise! I’ve been here for years, ya know? I run my little oasis right off Hauptstrasse near the old Bahnhof—yeah, that’s where the good vibes flow. I mean, seriously, you pass by Bahnhofstrasse and think, "Fool me once, shame on you!" Haha, oh man.

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