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About Hamburg

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort - not the dodgy street corner kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, ya twit! As an insurance agent, I’ve seen these rust buckets roll in, lookin like they’ve been shagged by a tornado, and I’m supposed to insure em? Piss off! Reckon they’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, but - hear me out - there’s somethin bout em that gets me ticker goin, like when Joaquin Phoenix falls for that AI bird in *Her*. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “Mate, I get it, I’d shag an Escort too if it talked back!” Cackle!

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So, buddy, welcome to my tiny piece of heaven! I hope you fall in love with its quirky, soulful, and sometimes maddening beauty. And remember, “We’ll always have Drochtersen”—oh, boy, isn’t that just a kick in the pants? Enjoy every minute, alright? Cheers to chillin’ like a boss!

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