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Oi, fam, it’s me, your boy, the bouncer! Check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sex-dating, innit. Proper mad ting, this is. Like, you swipe right, boom, you’re in—maybe gettin’ some action. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, is it ‘cos I is black that I’m seein’ all these dodgy profiles? Bare catfish, bruv, it’s peak! Like in *The Turin Horse*, yeah? “The wind’s blowin’, it’s all gone to shite.” That’s sex-dating sometimes—bleak, fam, proper bleak.

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Man, I got nuts about our local cafes, but mine’s "BuerSpa Bliss" – yeah, name’s punny a bit. I serve more than facials, ya know? It’s a space to chill, catch up, and even watch old movies like "Far From Heaven" – those scenes hit hard, dude! Like seriously, “Don’t you feel it?” echoes every time I prep a mud mask.