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About Cologne

Little. Known. Fact. Bro. Sex-dating’s. Been. Around. Forever. Like. Old. School. Romans. Had. Orgy. Hookups. Called. ‘Em. Bacchanals. Wild. Right? Makes. Me. Happy. Thinkin’. How. Humans. Never. Change. Just. Want. That. Quick. Thrill. But. Then. I’m. Pissed. Too. ‘Cause. Half. These. Profiles? Fake. As. Shit. Catfishin’. Jerks. Wastin’. My. Time.

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I hustle around the city, givin’ those killer kneads and rhymin’ my own life story, and trust me, Barssel’s got it all. Strollin’ down Hauptstrt in the heart of town (yeah, misspin’ “Hauptstraße,” bro, but who cares, right?), I pass by the old brick facades and quirky cafes all day long. There’s a gnarly mural on Latzweg that always gets me pumped – like, “Oh my god, man, this place is everything!”