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Fun fact, though—didja know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, some ancient Tantric weirdos in India were all about it—called it “sacred touch” or some crap. They’d rub ya down to “align your energies”—whatever that means! I’m picturin’ these old dudes in robes, oiled up, tryna find nirvana between the shoulder blades. Hilarious! Me? I’m just tryna not fart during the session—talk about killin’ the vibe.

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Letovice is a mishmash of narrow cobblestone streets and wide boulevards, like Hlavni Ulice. Ironic name for a place that's less "main" and more “meh-fest.” The old town square, Masarykovo náměstí, is kinda pathetic during the day but transforms when the night rolls in – the local bars spill secrets like a confessional booth. There’s a park, Zelený park, where I sometimes spaz out, thinking about all the awkward encounters I've seen. Ain’t nothing like watching couples fumbling around on a bench, if ya catch my drift.

Fig. 4. Classification diagrams for (a) plagioclase and (b) amphibole...