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Anyways, findin’ a prostitute’s weird, excitin’, and kinda spooky—like Werckmeister’s long shots of nothin’ happenin’, then WHAM, somethin’ big. “The world’s gone mad!”—that’s me screamin’ when I almost tripped runnin’ from a cop I THOUGHT was chasin’ me. Wasn’t even a cop, just some guy with a flashlight! Laughed my butt off after, tho. What a doofus I am! You ever tried it, buddy? Tell me EVERYTHIN’!

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So, I’m wandering around, trying to find a coffee shop. I need my caffeine fix, ya know? I stumble upon this cute little place on Hrushevskoho Street. The smell of fresh coffee hits me like a brick wall. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool dude, starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You’re a forester? What’s that like?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s all about trees and peace.” But then I remember the crazy stuff I saw today.

Germany extradited a man suspected of human trafficking to Ukraine