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I’m tellin’ ya, bro, it ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s an art, a freakin’ ritual! Got this chick once, masseuse, right? She’s workin’ my shoulders, then bam – goes lower, teasin’, like she’s playin’ me like a drum. Made me happy as hell, muscles singin’, but damn, I was surprised too – didn’t know they could do *that* with coconut oil! Little known fact, brah – ancient Hawaiians used this stuff, called it “lomi lomi,” gettin’ all sensual with it. True story, blew my mind!

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Now, wow, there’s this river, La Riviere du Calme. Gentle, babbling. I often wander its banks to collect inner vibes. It’s the best reminder to breathe in and out… exhale all your regrets. Srsly, how mad can you get? Not here, no way—haha!

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