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About Kumba

Lemme paint you a pic—imagine this chick I knew, let’s call her Jodie. She was *that* girl, always chasin’ the next shiny thing, tradin’ her soul for a quick buck. Made me so mad, y’all! I’d be like, “Jodie, why you whorin’ out your dreams for some loser’s dime?” She’d just laugh, flip her hair, and say she’s “livin’ her truth.” Girl, no! You’re livin’ a lie wrapped in cheap mascara! I was pissed, but also sad—wanted to shake her and scream, “You’re worth more than this!” Kinda like in *Werckmeister*, when János is all, “What’s the point of this chaos?”—I felt that, hardcore.

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Listen, when I started my relaxation career, I thought I knew relaxation. But then I got here – TOTALLY transformed. The vibe, the people, the spectacular sunsets over the Horizon Hill – unreal. I love this city, more than ever, and I say that, bigly!

Gunmen kill UN contractor, 4 others near Nigeria-Cameroon border