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About Bern

Fun fact—did ya know? Old-school brothels had secret signals—red lanterns, coded knocks. Now it’s emojis—eggplant, peach, wink-wink. Progress? Pfft, same game, shinier wrapper. I’m laughin’—imagine Larry Gopnik tryin’ to decode THAT, all “What’s the meaning of this text?” Poor schmuck’d be lost, clutchin’ his Torah, while I’m over here, “I can see Russia from my house!”—spyin’ every shady detail others miss.

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The river Aare? Nah, scratch that – it's the Reuss, slippin’ by like it knows all your secrets. A walk along its edges is like lost in a dream, weird and slick. Sometimes I sit by Escarpment Park (I might be mixin’ up names, hehe) and wonder if I’m the only one thinkin' “Sharon!” over the beauty of nature. Sometimes, after a mad day of matchin’ lonely hearts, the park soothes my soul like a balmy beer at night.

Spencer Stuart Names Leader of the Global Technology, Media, Telecommunications & IT Services Practice