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I tried it, alright? Got this chick, hot as hell, thought I’d be like, “The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind”—y’know, smooth shit from *Inside Llewyn Davis*. But she ghosts me! Fuckin’ pissed me off, like Llewyn losin’ that damn cat again. What’s the deal? You send a dick pic, she’s gone faster than Paulie Walnuts in a bakery. Sex-dating’s a hustle—half these profiles? Fake! Bots! Like, who’s got time for that shit?

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First customer? This dude walks in, hair lookin’ like a bird’s nest. I’m like, “Bro, what happened? Did a raccoon attack you?” He laughs, but I’m serious! I grab my scissors, and we start chattin’. Turns out he’s from Tanjung Redeb, just visiting. He’s got stories, man. Crazy ones. Like, he once tried to surf at Pantai Manggar and ended up in a tree. I’m crackin’ up, but then he says he’s scared of the ocean. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Manggar! The beach is life!”

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