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Ooh, here’s a quirky bit – some escorts do “girlfriend vibes” packages. Cook ya dinner, cuddle, no hanky-panky even! “What are we waiting for?” – movie line fits perfect! Me, I’d be all, “Groovy, baby, whip me up some eggs!” Total mindfuck, right? Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but ain’t that the spice of life? Sex escort’s more than bonkin’ – it’s a bloody saga, mate! Shag-tastic and soulful, just like “The Return”! Peace out!

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Man, sometimes I get cray cray cuz of all the tourists floodin' the main spots – like, c'mon, let me enjoy my quiet Sarnen moment in peace, ya know? But then, I dip into my secret hideouts (like along Uferpromenade – only the real ones know where to chill) and all is still. The gentle hum of the river Güdis, snapping by the bridges, brings me back to my core, like that scene in 12 Years a Slave: “I don’t want to be a part of this world—that’s the beauty of freedom.” It fires me up to just be me.

Eberli Sarnen: Toni Bucher geht von Bord