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Sometimes I wonder, man—what’s it feel like? Fish don’t got hands, just fins, slippin’ and slidin’. Exaggeratin’ here, but maybe it’s better than human massages! No awkward small talk, just vibes. Ever try it yourself? Sexual-massage, I mean—not with fish, you perv! Hah! I did once—human style—chick in Miami, hands like a fuckin’ angel. Thought, “This is the life, Tony!” Fish prolly feel the same—little strokes, big results.

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freaked out! Like, what the heck? I’m not a bird person! Miguel was cracking up, and I was just standing there, trying to shoo it away. Finally, it flew off, but not before leaving a little “gift” on my shirt. Ugh, so gross!

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