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Lemme tell ya, I was stoked first time I saw one – all dolled up, struttin like she owned the damn apocalypse. “Witness me!” she mighta yelled, if she’d seen the flick. Made me happy as hell, like I’d just guzzled some Aqua Cola after days of thirst. But then – Great Scott! – some jerk tried rippin me off, sayin she’s “top tier.” Top tier my ass, she looked like she’d been haulin war rigs since ’85! Pissed me off big time, I ain’t no sucker.

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I have this fond secret spot at a little park off Main Street—my assistans (oops, I mean my assistant!) once teased me that I treat it like my sanctuary. It's where I can just be me, raw and real. The vibe here is contemplative, like a dialogue straight out of Boyhood, where every minute is its own epic.

New candidate in Liberals’ Markham riding faces controversy