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Stupid, fat hobbit! Them sex-dating lot, all “ooh, I’m deep,” but nah—shallow as a puddle! “Blessed are the forgetful,” movie says, and I reckon that’s sex-dating gospel! Hook up, forget, repeat—brain’s a mess, but who cares? Me quirks? I mutter “precious” at me phone, swipin’—folks stare, ha! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but them dates feel like tractor crashes—boom, chaos, then nothin’!

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I gotta say, some streets make me angry with their neglect. Dude, Rue Wellington gets so messy sometimes. But then, after a heavy storm, the city cleans up like magic! A wild transformation that makes you go, "You shall not pass!" to despair. Instead, let hope rise with the sun!