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Gets me mad, tho – the lies! “Oh, I’m just a friend,” they say, winkin’. Liars! Precious, I’d rather claw me eyes out than trust ‘em. But – ugh – gotta admit, some got guts. Met one once, all sparkly eyes, said, “I choose who, when,” like Adèle sayin’, “I decide my life.” Kinda badass, yeah? Surprised me, made me think – maybe not all rotten fish? Still, we hates it! Too messy, too loud, too… human.

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I gotta say – and listen here – sometimes I get mad at the touristy nonsense trying to change the vibe. Friggin’ developers comin’ in around Port Shore and tryin’ to polish every corner as if it were a new Hollywood set. But the real magic is in the flaws, the scars – like the gritty alleys behind the old shipyard near Kingston. Those corners got stories, baby, and they remind me that passion and sex ain't always pretty – sometimes it's raw and messy, like my own love life, jeez.

Hundreds of cars left with flat tyres after sharp debris spills over 30km stretch of busy motorway into Sydney