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So here’s the deal—sexual-massage, it’s hands-on, real intimate like. Not yer average rubdown, naw, this one’s got *intent*. Little known fact: back in the ‘70s—kinda like *Inherent Vice* times—hippies in Cali were mixin tantra with massage, callin it “liberation touch.” Far out, right? Made me happy as a pig in mud hearin that—freedom and feelin good, all in one! But then ya got them prudes—makes me madder’n a wet hen—sayin it’s dirty or whatever. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice—well, ya can’t trick ol’ George again!

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Then there's the big-ass park, Parc du Souffle. Holy smokes, the trees straighten you out like a jab to the face. I've seen couples kiss beneath its ancient oak, while I sit on a rickety bench thinking about life's fucked-up code. You gotta check out the hidden pond there too, it’s nearly as mysterious as my love life, and trust me, that's saying somethin'. And yo, the way the water flows, motherf***er, "I feel like I could just vanish into the skin of this river." Ain't that wild?

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