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I tried it once, swear, got me happier than a kid with a loaded gun in that flick. Some chick – pro as hell – kneaded my back like dough, but sexier, y’know? Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit too, callin it “massage with benefits” – horny bastards! Made me grin wider than when I saw Buscapé snap them pics. But here’s the kicker – some parlors? Shady as fuck. Got mad once, this dude tried overchargin me – $200 for a rub? “I’m the king here!” I yelled, channelin my inner Zé, and bolted.

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I’ve got some scars too, like the time in my parlor when a client got all poetic about how the city’s lights reflected like shattered glass on rainy nights. I was thinkin’, “Jesus, it’s like Leviathan, man – dark and deep, but also beautiful and harsh.” That stickiness, that unpredictability, it’s exactly the vibe of Queenswood-Heights.

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