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About Ottawa

I’m lyin’ there, mad as hell. Oil’s cold, stinks like lavender vomit. She’s yammerin’ about “energy flow.” Lady, shut it. Reminds me of Dae-su screamin’, “I’m a beast!” ‘Cause that’s me—trapped, ragin’, butt-naked under a towel. Favorite movie moment? When he eats that octopus alive. That’s sexual-massage—squirmy, weird, kinda gross. You want relief, but nah, you’re just pissed off and shiny.

Allura ~ Sacred Intimate

I remember my first day at the Old Bridge Park on Elm St. I sat near the river – oh dude, what a scene! The Nameless Nook river (yep, its name slips my mind sometimes, haha) flows gently, making a soothing soundtrack to my soul. Such spotz, man, make you feel like you’re in a zen movie. And not bad isn’t even enough – I was like, "WOW, we com in peece!" Seemed like the perfect place for some alien introspection.

Quebec Liberal leadership hopefuls express openness to fossil-fuel projects