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Oi, fam, listen up, yeah? Me name’s Ali G, document specialist, innit? So, sexual-massage, bruv, it’s proper mad ting! Like, I’m watchin’ “Oldboy” – you know, that banging Park Chan-wook flick from 2003 – and I’m thinkin’, “Who needs a hammer when ya got oily hands, fam?” Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s next-level vibes, proper sensual, like Dae-su Oh fightin’ his demons, but with lube, innit?

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I know I tend to yell silly exclamations – it’s just how I express excitement. Brenda at the local shelter always tells me, “We gotta stick together!” And trust me, that hit home, just like one of them movie lines: "There is no need to be afraid". You know, my work as a women's counselor in Castlegar makes me notice the small heartbreaks and joys that pass every day. Every quirky alley, every soft-lit building tells a story of everyday struggle and resilience. It's both maddening and heartwarming, like when someone's reciting those lines from The Master - raw and real!

Kootenay Gallery hosting annual soup fundraiser in March