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Oi, fam, it’s me, the Gardener, innit! Check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sex-dating, yeah? Proper mad ting, this! Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them apps—Swipe this, bang that—mental! Reminds me of me fave flick, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, you get me? That Kim Ki-duk joint, deep shit, bruv. Like, “Desire leads to attachment,” he says, and ain’t that the truth with sex-dating? You swipe, you shag, you’re hooked—boom!
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