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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a bender, sharp as a tack, and I ain’t here to mess around bout escort – yeah, that’s right, escort! Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I know what’s up with this gig. So, escort, huh? Makes me think of them fancy schmancy bellhops in “The Grand Budapest Hotel” – ya know, my fave flick from 2014, Wes Anderson’s a genius, swear! Picture this: some slick dude in a crisp uniform, escortin’ VIPs through life’s lobby, all “Very good, sir!” and tip-toein’ round like they own the joint.

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Now lemme boogie onto my favorite little gem – a bar called The Black Rose Inn off Riverbend Drive. It's got a dive vibe, grungy decor, and bartenders who practically spit wisdom, man. I’ve seen love bloom and shatter there like the cycles of the cosmos. A wild mix of raw emotion, heartbreak and laughter. Yeah, it’s a madhouse!

Charlie Major to headline Canada Day celebrations in Bonnyville