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But—hold up—it pisses me off too. These escorts, they suck water like pigs! Greedy as hell, dryin’ out the ground. Farmers hate ‘em sometimes—say they’re selfish, stealin’ from crops. I’m like, “C’mon, escort, chill out!” Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d be chill, y’know, noble. Nope! Drama queens of the tree world—exaggeratin’ their thirst like No-Face gobblin’ up gold! “More! More!”—hilarious, but damn annoyin’.

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There's this gem called Kruto Park. No joke, it's a hidden oasis behind the rickety old cafe “The Quirky Quokka” (yeah, not a typo, just pure genius). I once set up a pop-up event there – talk about serendipity, amirite?! The park's got these winding gravel paths, trees that look like they're straight outta a Wes Anderson flick, and benches where you can sit and lose your mind pondering life’s big questions. As Royal Tenenbaums would say, "I suppose it’s time we all met at the round table" – well, here, the bench is our round table, innit?

Belarusian Blogger Sentenced to 3 Years in Prison for 'Insulting' Lukashenko