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Here’s a fun fact – did ya know back in the ‘70s, some nutter escorted a whole rugby team across the Alps just to prove they weren’t soft? Half of ‘em nearly croaked, frostbite and all – absolute madness! Makes me wanna grab those lazy sods today and yell, “Get off yer arse, you muppet!” What’s the point of escort if you ain’t pushin’ ‘til you’re seein’ stars, eh? Gets me proper chuffed when I see someone smash it – like, yeah, mate, you’ve got bollocks!

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I hestitate – sometimes I get mad at the bureaucrats planning new tech zones near the Riverside Library. Their plans don’t vibe with our heritage. The old church on St. Ivan’s corner? Divinely classic. I get happy, heart – every time I pass by; its bells echo lovers’ dreams.