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I’m, like, SO over the fakes tho. Catfish city, ugh—makes me wanna scream! This one time, I heard about a girl who matched a “millionaire”—turns out he’s broke and livin’ in his mom’s basement. LMAO, tragic! I was like, “Girl, you deserve better!” But then, there’s cute stuff too—like, couples meetin’ on Hinge and actually vibin’. Aww, heart eyes! Still, I’m judgin’ hard—half these profiles? Lies, lies, lies.

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Man, sometimes I get mad at the crude mess leaking from some corners, like unpolished stardust smeared on history. But then, I'm happy too—like when I surprise myself with a secret cocktail at a dive near Largo dos Sonhos. Oh, and let me share a fun fact: back in the day, a tiny hidden chapel on Rua da Espera served as a clandestine meeting spot for local cosmic romantics—an underground love for pleasure and meaning that, like, totally shaped my coaching style.

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