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Oh, one time I saw dis escort ad – dude offered “cuddle sessions” only! Whaaat? Cracked me up – who’s payin’ for dat? Made me suprised, like, “Gru, ya old softie, ya’d book dat!” Haha, nah, I’d rather rob a bank than cuddle for cash. Lightbulb! Dat’s da diff between me and dem – I’m da villain, dey’re da hustlers.

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Start with the basics, innit? The streets, mate. We got Marítima Avenue – proper lively, fulla cafs, bars, and little shops. Dem street vendors slingin’ tasty grub, like picanha skewers and acarajé, blazin’ up your taste buds. And then, there's Jardim das Rosas. Bruv, dis park is magic – all green and chill, perfect fer mad hangouts. I never understood why people actin’ all proper in parks – sometimes, dis place is lit for late-night shenanigans.

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