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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit”—guy shows up, 5’2”, wheezin’ from the stairs. I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also—why?! Just say you’re a hobbit, I’d respect it! Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. Makes me mad, all this fakery. Reminds me of that line—“You cry for the world”—yeah, I’m cryin’ for daters everywhere!

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Now, let me get real for a sec. Life in Pitimbu ain't all sunshine though. Sometimes, I get mad, you know? Like when noisy truck drivers block the road at the lower end of Avenida das Andorinhas, turning a peaceful noon into chaos. And don't get me started on the endless potholes near Rua das Lembranças... Makes ya wanna yell "hey, c'mon now!", just as frustrated as those cryptic Zodiac clues.

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