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I’d say it’s a messy art—oil everywhere, egos bruised, bits tingling. Kinda love the chaos, tho. Reminds me of me own life—dodgin’ daggers, chasin’ skirts. “We’re done here,” Viggo snarls in the film, but with sexual-massage, ya never are. Always another twist, another rub. So, mate, if yer thinkin’ of tryin’ it—go bold or go home. I’d toast to that, but me cup’s empty. Bugger.

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Now, lemme fill ya in on these parks, all honest and hidden – Parque das Laranjeiras. Little patch of green in the chaos. You can think on the spot. Kids, old folks, dogs. It's raw. And then, there’s Praça do Coração. Literally, heartbeats and heartaches all mixed. I got a session there once, and lemme tell ya, the vibes were intense.

Small Bites: El Guapo’s Sports Cantina hosts St. Patrick’s Day party