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Sometimes I think she’s messin’ with me, like when Boonmee’s kid turns into a hairy ghost – “What am I lookin’ at here?!” She’ll vanish for days, then pop back, all “Miss me, fatass?” Sarcasm’s her game, but I’m like, yeah, I kinda did, ya nut. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away – makes me wonder if I’m the dope here.

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Now, between counseling sessions, I grab coffee at Café da Alegria near Praça Libertação. It’s my frendz hangout (yep, that’s how we say “friends” round here!) where the talk is loose, the laughs are endless, and the vibe is awsum. Sometimes, I even break into a little Dolly-like twang, singin’ “I’m comin’ for ya, no matter what”—like a line plucked fresh outta that memorable movie!

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