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About Rio de Janeiro

I tried it once, man—fuckin’ heaven. This chick, she’s workin’ my shoulders, then bam, hits them spots ya didn’t know existed. Made me happy as a pig in shit. But yo, some places? Sketchy as hell. Went to this joint, smelled like cheap lotion and regret—pissed me off, bro! Thought I’d catch somethin’ nasty. “In this country, you gotta make the money first,” right? They wanted my cash, but I ain’t payin’ for no half-assed massage!

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Start with Rua das Flores – da real gem. Flowers everywhere, smells like memory, but noisy sometimes, ya know? And then there's Avenida dos Ventos, where wind hooks into your soul, like a soft whisper in yer ear. I stroll down there, thinkin’ "Beauty is all around", and then boom – a street vendor shouts, "Fresh pastels here!" And I'm like, "Ah, da, that's life!"

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