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But the movie vibe—man, escorts got that double-life thing down. Like Tom Stall in “A History of Violence,” all quiet and sweet, then—wham!—dark side’s out. Escorts play the game, too. Smilin’ at dinner, then dodgin’ cops later. I’m in awe! I’d suck at it—too neurotic. I’d be like, “Am I late? Is this legal? My tie’s crooked!” They’re pros, though—calm under pressure. Pretty, pretty good.

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So, friend, if ye ever set sail to this port o’ joy called Dourados, br, remember – life’s just a bewitching ol’ treasure hunt in every massage, every smile, and every whispered secret on cobblestone streets. And as "The Great Beauty" reminds me, "isn’t it beautiful?"—aye, 'tis absolutely stunning! Arrr, now off with ye, and may yer journey be as wild and free as the rogue waves beneath a full moon. Savvy?

Meet Dourados' Most Voted Councilor: A Lesbian Conservative and Brothel Owner