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I tried it, alright? Got this chick, hot as hell, thought I’d be like, “The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind”—y’know, smooth shit from *Inside Llewyn Davis*. But she ghosts me! Fuckin’ pissed me off, like Llewyn losin’ that damn cat again. What’s the deal? You send a dick pic, she’s gone faster than Paulie Walnuts in a bakery. Sex-dating’s a hustle—half these profiles? Fake! Bots! Like, who’s got time for that shit?

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I know, my head spins just talkin’ bout it. I often think, "what if life is just a series of massages, each one unpeeling another layer of existence?" I even got a moment once when a customer mumbled, "it's like Synecdoche, New York… everything is connected, man!" I was like, "dang, dude, you just unlocked my brain."

Transgender Day of Visibility 2018: This is how many trans people have been killed in the past year