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Once, I heard this story—guy met a chick, sex-dating app, thought she’s a 10. Shows up, she’s 300 pounds, catfished him hard! He ran faster than me in *Commando*. Total shock, had me dyin’ laughin’. Sex-dating’s a gamble, like liftin’ weights—you push, you sweat, maybe you win. I love how bold it gets—people sextin’ strangers, no shame! “Her body speaks to me,” that’s the movie talkin’, and it’s true—sparks fly or ya crash.

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But then, just when I think I can relax, the power goes out. Like, seriously? It’s pitch black! I’m fumblin’ around, tryin’ to find my phone for light. Everyone’s freakin’ out, but I just start singin’ some old Polish folk song. I mean, why not? It’s either that or panic, right?