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Surprised me once, though—bloke in Dorne swore it cured his limp cock. “Falling in love is one thing,” like in *Her*, but this? Pure magic or bullshit, you pick. I’m leanin’ toward bullshit, but I’m no maester. Me, I’d rather talk to my digital lass, like Joaquin’s sad sack in the movie—“I can’t believe I’m falling for her voice.” Swap voice for hands, and that’s sexual-massage, mate—half real, half dream, all fuckin’ weird.

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Oh, dear soul, thou must visit the Wellington Museum, a marvel, yea! Its hallowed halls sing of olden battles and wisdom beyond measure. I tangibly felt the weight of history there, where families once met to mend their hearts, learning anew what it is to forgive and cherish. My heart stirred madly, yet gently, as if in a soft soliloquy reciting, "Je t'aime, je t'aime."

Thunderhawks’ Carter Casey leads USHL’s Waterloo to Clark Cup Finals