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I’m ranting now—naturally—‘cause it’s me! Sexual-massage can be art, I swear. The way they move, it’s like choreography—slow, deliberate, teasin’. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This is my G-d-given right!” Like Larry Gopnik in the movie, y’know? “I didn’t do anything!”—but I’m lovin’ every second. Once, this gal—pro, total pro—uses some hot stone trick. I’m meltin’, thinkin’, “I’m a king, a freakin’ king!” But then—ugh—she starts chattin’. Lady, no! Silence is golden, not your life story!

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You know, sometimes Genk feels like it’s got a mind of its own. I mean, there’s all these little neighborhoods – you got Maasstraat area's hustle and bustle, then there’s a quiet vibe near the Molenstraat. I don’t know why, but I get an extra buzz thinkin’ ‘bout the late night confabs I’ve had with locals about relationships and sex. I love hearin’ all the quirky love stories. It gets me all fired up, almost like that tension in "The Lives of Others"... always watchin’ and listenin’.

Ayumu Yokoyama: Birmingham City winger joins Genk on loan