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About Bray

So, I tried it, right? Met this guy—total hunk, thought I hit the jackpot. We’re chattin’, he’s all “you’re my muse,” like Władysław Szpilman playin’ his heart out. Next thing, we’re on a date—bam, he’s pawin’ at me like I’m a damn piano key! Made me mad as hell—where’s the romance, huh? I ain’t no quick fling, mister! Sex-dating can be a crapshoot—half the time, they just wanna smash, not chat.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, maybe 10 or so, trying to impress his friends. He climbs up the diving board like he’s some kind of superhero. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But nah, he jumps, and I swear, it was like watching a slow-motion train wreck. He belly-flops harder than I’ve ever seen. The splash was epic! Everyone laughed, even me. But then, he comes up, and he’s crying. Ugh, poor kid. I had to go over and give him a pep talk. “Hey, man, you’re still a champ!”

Death Notice of Theresa O'Carroll (née Hamilton) (Dalkey, Dublin)