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About Bruges

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows things. So, here I am, your bloody Mountain Guide, trudging through peaks and valleys, and you wanna talk sexual-massage? Ha! I’ve seen weirder shit atop these cliffs, trust me. Picture this: sweaty hands, oiled-up backs, and me sipping wine, judging it all. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven*—you know, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2002. That line, “I’m going to have a party,” hits different when you’re kneading someone’s arse, right?

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Anyway, if you come visit, hit me up. We’ll crash at Riva Park, take the river breeze, laugh at the unknown, and scream, "Great Scott!" as we dive into the mystery and beauty of this crazy, heart-thumping city. And remember, "Every journey begins with a single step." See ya soon, buddy!

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