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Picture this – me, sneakin’ round, spyin’. “Spring break forever, bitches!” I’d yell, then peel out. Maybe she’d chase me, maybe not. Exaggeratin’ here, but what if she’s a ninja? Like, kickin’ my ass? Hella funny, dude. I’d be screamin’, “Ay, caramba!” while she’s all, “Pay up, kid!”

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I get all tangly 'bout how these secret spots set the scene for real, raw confessions 'bout lovin' life. Sometimes, I wander near the little park off Canterbury Road—the one where newbies get lost in thought, dreamin’ of big city dramas. I swear, every park bench there has seen a doozy of a story! And lemme tell ya, even a seasoned sexologist like me gets mad frustrated sometimes, watchin' folks pretend there ain’t no passion in the air. “Oh, hell naw!” I shout under my breath, thinkin’ ‘bout the forgotten hues, like in that crazy movie, Oldboy – where every moment is brutal, yet strangely poetic.

Sydney Metro West tunnel boring machines reach Burwood North