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So, check this—last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown, lookin’ for some action, right? Not me personally, just sayin’—hypothetical Bart-style, ha! And there’s this chick, all “your mind is the scene of the crime,” winkin’ at me like she knows my secrets. I’m like, whoa, lady, chill! Made me happy, tho—kinda cool she’s playin’ mysterious. But then, ugh, this greasy dude rolls up, all “pay me first,” and I’m like, eat my shorts, creep! Pissed me off big time—hate middlemen, ya feel me?

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I swear, every neighborhood has its own story. The cheeriest one? You got Crestwood. People there smile like they’ve seen the sun even on a cloudy day. And then there’s a grittier, meaner vibe on West End – where the bars play funky tunes and every hug, every pat on the back is a story of survival. And lemme tell ya somethin’ – I’ve had the strangest massage requests from the folks in West End – weird flexin’ like they just came off a fight scene in a Basterds montage. Hey, “I love rumors,” I joke... but man, it’s true!

Family rush to get bub out of burning house believed wrongly targeted in arson attack