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Oi mate, erotic-massage, yeah? What a bloody treat! Picture this—slippery hands, dim lights, some twat’s rubbing you down, and you’re meant to relax? Piss off! I’m lying there, thinking, “This is Joy from Inside Out, innit?” All happy and tingly, like she’s bouncing round me head! Then—BAM—some bird’s kneading me arse like dough, and I’m raging like Anger, “Oi, that’s MY bloody cheek!” Costs a bomb too, fifty quid for a fumble? Robbery!

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Oh, and don’t even get me started on Wollongong Harbour! The waves crash and the dock lights flicker, and it’s so trippy. It reminds me how families reel with emotions like these crashing waves. I admit, sometimes I get so mad or happy I wanna scream “Respect my authoritah!” right then and there.

Wollongong Hospital workers rally over staffing crisis leaving patients waiting days