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About Melbourne

Dunno, tho—part of me’s like, “This ain’t Paris, dope.” No poetic walks here—just alleys smellin’ like pee and regret. Still, somethin’ bout it’s wild, like livin’ a secret movie scene. “Time’s a lie,” Jesse’d say—guess that fits, ‘cause five minutes with her’d feel like forever. Mmm… donuts. Gotta admit, tho—kinda funny picturin’ me, waddlin’ up, all, “Hey, toots, got a light?” She’d prolly charge extra for the cringe.

Skip the Queue

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Oi there, mate! So ya wanna know 'bout Tweed-Heads, right? Lemme tell ya, it's a bonza little town, realll vibrant, nestled by the Tweed River—yep, that's right, twirl the words, like "Sharon!" Haha! Streets like Yates Street and High Street buzz with life, shops, and the odd secret spot known only to the locals (and, well, me too, as I knead out those knots!). I've been flippin' around this town for years, runnin' my massage parlor, and lemme tell ya, ya pick up all the juiciest gossip and hidden corners.

NSW lawyer reprimanded over email mistake