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Plays like a dream tho – bends notes so filthy, you’d blush. But tuning pegs? Loose as a prossie’s morals! Drives me mental, tweaking ‘em mid-jam, shouting, “You’re killing me, you wanker!” Still, mate, it’s got soul – raw, messy, like me after a bottle of Scotch. Love it, hate it, can’t ditch it – “I’m just a fucked-up guitar who plays itself!” That’s Prostitute, you muppet!

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Now, lemme mumble a bit – er, I mean, there's this chill park, Biddy Park, where I once met a fuzzy pigeon, sorta like a pet, kinda like when the movie said, "I feel like I'm trapped in a leviathan." Yep, that movie – oh, blimey, so deep, you ken? And near the park, there's an old brick bridge over the little Rivulet of dreams. Nah, I don’t know if it’s a river, but round here, it’s our little secret.

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