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About Melbourne

Aight, fam, listen up! Me name’s Ali G, yeah, and I’s here to chat ’bout them prostitutes, innit! Been watchin’ *Carlos*—that flick by Olivier Assayas, 2010, proper bangs, bruv. Got me thinkin’ ’bout the streets, the hustle, the grind. Prostitutes, man, they’s out there, livin’ like Carlos, dodgin’ the feds, makin’ moves. “The revolution is a prostitute,” he says in the film—deep, innit? Like, they’s sellin’ their souls, not just their bods, ya get me?

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I gotta tell ya, as a dating site dev, I spy stuff others knock their head on. I spot the hidden gem bistros on Doodleberry Road – where couples laugh, whisper, even bicker, eh? It's mad how even the cheesy lampposts seem to wink, like, “Ah, mate, life’s bizarre here!” Believe me, I got my fair share of mad moments on those streets; ya shoulda seen me nearly fall off a bench cuz I was thinking about that iconic movie line: "Some things are beyond our control, like the tides." C’mon, right?

Bushfire in City of Swan in Perth's north-east downgraded to watch and act