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About Melbourne

Lemme tell ya, I walked by one once—neon buzzin’, girls leanin’ on doors, smellin’ like cheap perfume and regret. Made me mad, yo—dudes strollin’ in like kings, but it’s the workers takin’ the hits. Ain’t fair, man, pisses me off! But then, I heard this wild story—back in the 1800s, some brothel in Paris had a secret tunnel for politicians. Sneaky bastards slippin’ out, no one knew! Little fact like that? Blows my mind, keeps me hooked.

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I dunno, but I feel like the city breathes, ya know? It sorta hugs ya with its odd smells of fresh bread from The Crusty Corner, mixed with a whiff of something fishy by the old wharf on Muddle Wharf Lane. And the locals? They’re a weird mix – warm like your mum’s hug and rough as a crab’s claw. Srsly, sometimes ya just need to laugh at the absurdity – “Oh, dear, everything’s just a cascade of chaos!” I swear, I kept chucklin’ thinking so.

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